The Hilarious Random Adventures of Cloud and Leon
by YaoiProfessorYuki
Summary: the name says it all. I had to bump up the rating so I don't get in trpuble just in case.
1. Episode one

The Hilariously Random Adventures of Cloud and Leon

Episode 1

The First Episode

Yuki: Hello every one this is Yuki. The maker of this series. Here are the stars of the show Cloud and Leon.

Leon: Yo.

Cloud: Hey.

(Both say it in a very bored tone.)

Yuki: Could you two show some more enthusiasm please. This is the first episode. You should be happy!

Leon: We should be happy about you blackmailing us to appear on the show?

Cloud: Not to mention you promised to result to killing us if we didn't agree.

Yuki: I didn't threaten your lives.

Cloud: You held a friggin' knife to our throats!

Yuki: Well acting is a cut throat business.

Cloud: Not literally!

Yuki: Says you.

Leon: (glaring at Yuki) I really hate you.

Yuki: I love you too Leon -. Now we really need to start the first episode.

Leon: I thought we all ready did.

Yuki: Nope. If you read your scripts it will read that you two are first hiding in a closet from a bunch of my fans. Mostly fangirls because it just so happens that my two main characters are really hot. Now on with it my lackeys!

Leon and Cloud: Why us? Please god tell us why we're stuck with an insane author?!

Yuki: Because Karma's a bitch, literally.

Leon: Damn.

Yuki: Now begin! (Insert evil and maniacal laughter.)

Cloud: Leon I'm scared.

Leon: Me too Cloud, me too.

Cloud: mostly because she's insane.

Leon: For me it's that stupid laugh.

Yuki: (pout) Meanies.

End.


	2. Episode 1: Fangirls

Episode 2

The Evilness of Fangirls

Cloud: It's real quite today.

Leon: Yeah a little to quite.

(rumbling sound)

Cloud: What's that?

(Fangirls come running around a corner)

Leon: Fangirls. (starts taking his shoes off)

Cloud: Why are you taking your shoes off?

Leon: Because I run faster without shoes and for me to survive all I have to do is make sure I run faster than you.

Cloud: WHAT?! You would let them get me!

Leon: Every man for himself! (starts running away)

(Cloud runs after him. Fan girls nipping at their heels)

Cloud: Leon closet!

(They run in and Leon locks the door)

Leon: O.k. we just need to wait ere till they leave.

Cloud: All right.

-2 days later-

Cloud: You think their gone?

Leon: (Slightly opens door. Fangirls start trying to claw their way in. Slams door closed.) Nope.

Cloud: Damn it! (starts banging back of head on wall) God I'm starving.

Leon: Hey Look. (points to ceiling)

Cloud: (Looks up and sees an air vent big enough to fit them in one at a time) Why are we just now noticing this?

Leon: Because the author is an insane lunatic.

(Somewhere in a place far, far away.)

Yuki: No I'm not!

(end of her line)

Leon: Let's climb into the air vent and crawl out of the building.

Cloud: O.k. speaking of which where are we any way, besides in a closet?

Leon: I think this might be where our crazed author makes her stories.

Cloud: Oh, well let's go.

(They climb into the air vent. As they are crawling through it a loud bang is heard. The air vent brakes. They fall out of the ceiling.)

Cloud: cough Well cough at least we're out of the closet.

Leon: Yeah the safety of the closet that is, look. (points at a bunch of drooling fangirls.)

Cloud: Leon what are they drooling at?

Leon: Well…. (Gestures his head to him and Cloud. Cloud then notice that Leon is on top of him.)

Fangirl: Oh, my god Leon is making Cloud his!!!!!

Leon: Shit they aren't just fangirls. Some are shounen-ai and yaoi girls.

Cloud: Oh god! Run away!

(They start running again)

Yuki: Boys in here!

(They run into a room with her. Yuki bolts and locks the door. Room has a desk with computer, two beds, a kitchen, and a T.V. with different video games hooked up to it.)

Yuki: Whew that was close.

(Notices Leon and Cloud glaring at her.)

Yuki: What?

Leon: Because of you and the way this story is going we're being chased by fangirls!

Cloud: Not to mention we were stuck in a closet for two days without food or water.

Yuki: Oh my poor little chocobo! (Gives Cloud a hug.) Please forgive me.

Cloud: 'Kay -.

Leon: (shocked) After everything that just happened your going to forgive (snaps fingers) her like that!

Cloud: She gave me a hug.

Leon: You for give her because she gave you a hug.

Cloud: (nods)

Yuki: Leon it's because no one can resist the power of a special Yuki hug. This will now be known as a SYH. Leon also if you wanted hug all you have to do is ask. (Gives Leon a hug.)

Leon: Stop touching me you psychopath.

Yuki: Now, now Leon it wouldn't be very nice to call someone who has food a psychopath now wouldn't it.

Cloud: Can I have some? Please…….. (Gives a begging look)

Yuki: Of course my little chocobo! How can I resist a face like that?

(Gives Cloud lots of food)

Cloud: Food! (starts gorging himself)

(Fangirls banging on door)

Fangirl: Please let us in Yuki. We love your stories especially because Cloud and Leon are in this one!

Leon: What is she talking about?

Yuki: I don't know. (starts whistling innocently)

Leon: It's because of a story you wrote isn't it.

Yuki: Maybe but, you'll never know! (Disappears in a puff of smoke)

Cloud: How does she do that?

Leon: I do not know.

(The fangirls were still trying to get in)

Cloud: I'm surprised the door hasn't busted down yet.

Leon: Well that could be that this door is made of titanium alloy.

Cloud: True.

Leon: And here I thought she was insane for doing that.

Cloud: Guess she proved you wrong.

Leon: O.k. I'm going to eat, and go to sleep.

Cloud: I'll play Kingdom Hearts and Final Fantasy games!

(Some where in a place where the anime and manga nerds run free.)

Yuki: Isn't it ironic that Cloud is playing those games when both he and Leon are in Kingdom Hearts and in different Final Fantasy games. Hmm….that would make a good episode. Hmmm…. (Evil grin)

(Back to the boys)

Cloud: AHHH!!!!

Leon: (raises eyebrow) What?

Cloud: The bathroom is full of nothing but feminine products!

Leon: (Goes wide eyed) You're kidding.

Cloud: No. (Shows Leon bathroom)

Leon: (Drops to knees) NNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! A man can not live surrounded by feminine products!

(They start shedding anime tears.)

(Back in the land of the anime and manga nerds running free.)

Yuki: Oh, Leon and Cloud you have not yet witnessed the full extent of my evil. (Insert evil and maniacal laughter.) Man, Leon's right. That laugh is stupid. Maybe I should try taunting or just evilly chuckling.

END……………..or is it? Dun-dun-dun.


	3. Episode 2 The Mafia

Yuki: Wuz up my fellow Cloud and Leon KH fans. This is the part of the show and come out to thank everyone who made this possible. I will first answer the reviews.

To hanakitsunechan7: Yes I' am a basket case but, only when I have too much coffee. I will show you the extent of my evil. Once I get high off of my life source which is caffeine which is in coffee. Thank you for the Cloud cookie.

To DigitalXover-girl: You will be amazed how scared and uncomfortable guys get around feminine products. I feel sorry for my Dad. He lives in a family of one man and four women.

To TitanRavenFreak: I'm happy that you enjoyed it so much. I typed it when I wasn't in the right state of mind. Wait, now that I think of it I'm never usually in the right state of mind. Hmm……..

Any way those were the first three reviews. They all receive applause and a Cloud and Leon cookie cake. (Says this while eating the Cloud cookie that hanakitsunechan7 gave her.)

Disclaimer: This site is called for a reason.

Fictions Theme song starts playing which is: American Idiot by none other than Green Day.

A/N: When I thought about it, to me, this song was perfect.

Episode two

The Mafia.

(Cloud and Leon are sitting in the room where we left them in the last episode. Leon was sitting on the couch playing Super Smash Bros. Melee. Cloud was lying on the couch completely utterly bored. The bathroom was completely cleared of all feminine products because Leon burned them all. Anyway…)

(Bang. Bang. Bang. Fangirls still there by the way.)

Cloud: Are they ever going to give up?

Leon: Probably not for another two weeks maybe.

(The titanium door has dents the shape of fists in it.)

(POOF! Some woman appears out of no where.)

Person: Hey names Nikki. My boss wishes your presence immediately.

Cloud: Leon we have to learn how to do that.

Leon: The poofing out of no where thing?

Cloud: Yep.

Leon: Yes we should but, the author is too much of an evil conniving dumb ass. She will never type that we learn how to do that.

(Land of anime and manga nerds running free.)

Yuki: No I'm not. Hmph, stupid Leon.

(Back.)

Cloud: To true.

(Anime/Manga nerd land)

Yuki: No Cloud you've turned on me! WWAAHH!!! T-T

(Back)

Leon: So where are you taking us?

Nikki: To a place where there aren't any carnivorous fangirls. The hide out of the mafia my boss is in charge of.

Cloud: O.k. and who's your boss?

Nikki: You'll find out in due time my bosses little chocobo.

Cloud: I'm not a chocobo! For the last damn time!

Nikki: Well your hair is styled like chocobo feathers, your eyes are the color of chocobo eyes, and you yell like a chocobo. Therefore you are a chocobo!

Leon: She's got you there.

Cloud: Shut up you.

Nikki: You'll find out who my boss is in due time. Now do you want to wait till the fangirls tear down the door or would you like to escape now?

(Door collapses. Fangirls rush in and start grabbing Cloud and Leon. Also groping them.)

Fangirl 22: I love you Leon!

Fangirl 5: You're so hot Cloud!

Fangirl 7473848372838384742: Cloud, Leon kiss for me!

Fangirls: Kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss.

Cloud: You can get us out of here now!

Nikki: Are you positive you want to leave now?

Leon: Just poof us out of here damn it!

Nikki: Well if you really want to.

Both: Just fucking do it!!!

Nikki: Fine.

(Snaps fingers. They do the poofy trick and wind up in an office.)

Person: There you are she was getting hysterical!

Nikki: Cloud, Leon meet Kaytlyn. She manages my boss's trade with other people.

Person: Yeah, Nikki's back!

Nikki: That's Denise she's head of the weapons department. And those two guys standing over there are my bosses' body guards

Guy: These them? Cloud and Leon I mean.

Guy 2: Do we need to initiate a cavity search. (Snaps on medical gloves.)

Nikki: Corey! Bryan! Don't even think about it. 1. Because Cloud is too innocent and naïve. 2. Because the boss friggin' said so.

Corey: Fine.

Bryan: If we must skip the search.

(Cloud and Leon finally realize everyone is wearing a black suit.)

Denise: Yes you must or she'll kill you.

Kaytlyn: Sorry boys maybe next time.

Denise: Kaytlyn I don't think there will be a next time.

Kaytlyn: Oh well. Boys go tell her they are here.

(Boys walk to a huge wood desk that appeared out of no where. They look into the rolling spinning chair.)

Corey: Uh, she's a sleep.

Nikki: Well wake her up.

(They start poking the person in the chair. Slap! Smack!)

Person: Cut it out damn it!

Leon: Wait a second I know that evil conniving voice anywhere.

Cloud: Yuki?

(Chair spins revealing the author.)

Yuki: Wuz up boys? Enjoy your stay in the safe room?

Both: You!

Leon: Why you little! You left us there for weeks with rabid fangirls banging on the door!

(Tries to make a grab at the author. Gets tackled by Corey and Bryan. Author does evil grin.)

Cloud: Yuki you're the Godmother of a mafia?

Yuki: Yes my little chocobo I' am.

Leon: As amazing as it sounds I'm not surprised. I hate you still by the way.

Yuki: Leon are you still mad about the fangirls?

Leon: What do you think?

Yuki: Cloud?

Cloud: Me too.

(Author gives Cloud a hug.)

Yuki: I sorry Cloud. Can you forgive Yuki- chan?

Cloud: O.k. -

Leon: Why is it that every time she hugs you, you forgive her?

Yuki: Because it's an SYH! Anyway now that you're here time for introductions!

Kaytlyn: Actually we all ready did that.

Yuki: Oh, when?

Denise: while you were sleeping.

Yuki: Oh.

(Random person walks in.)

Yuki: Who be you?

Person: An assassin hired to kill you.

Leon: Yes! Finally there is a god somewhere that loves me!

Cloud: Should I be happy or sad that he's here to kill her? I'll go with sad for now.

Corey: Protect Yuki!

Bryan: Duck and cover! Duck and cover!

(Both dive bomb author.)

Person: Dudes, I was joking.

(Person walks out.)

Yuki: If you two would be so kind as to GET THE FUCK OFF!! I would be very happy.

Leon: No! Please come back. I'll give you what ever you want to kill her! I'll give you Cloud for cryin' out loud!

Yuki: OMG! You would sink so low as to give someone Cloud's virginity so I could die?! Tsk tsk tsk. Bad Leon!

Cloud: Would you really do that Leon?

(Cloud goes watery eyed.)

Yuki: See what you did! You're making Cloud cry. (Hugs Cloud.)

Nikki: Leon you're horrible. (Hugs Cloud.)

Katlyn: Yeah. (Hugs Cloud.)

Denise: Double yeah. (Hugs Cloud.)

Corey: Man, really how could you. Sure he's a guy that looks feminine but come on.

Bryan: Yeah. Corey and I can sink pretty low but not that low.

(All the girls trying to comfort Cloud. Guys are fixing him a drink. Leon's eye twitches. Now he feels bad.)

Leon: No the god hates me again! Let me talk to Cloud real quick.

Yuki: Everyone to the bar while they make up.

(Everyone goes to bar. Leon kneels in front of Cloud who is sitting on the ground. Leon lifts Clouds head up so Cloud and him are looking directly in each others eyes. Noses merely inches apart.)

Leon: Cloud I'm sorry. I would never sell your virginity so the dumb ass of an author we can die.

Cloud: Really?

Leon: Really.

(Anime/manga nerd land)

Yuki: (typing) Forgive me Cloud but the author has typed in-

(Back.)

Leon: - what I'm about to do next. So don't blame Leon blame me the author.

(Leon kisses Cloud. Leon snaps out of it.)

Leon: What the fuck did I just do?!

Cloud: You fucking kissed me!

Yuki: Aw that was so cute!

Leon: Damn you!

Cloud: Ugh…Leon germs. (Starts to furiously brush teeth.)

Yuki: Oh. Boys forgive me for what I'm going to do.

Both: What are you-?

(Both got knocked out from sleeping gas. Yuki is wearing a gas mask.)

-1 hour later-

(Cloud and Leon wake up.)

Leon: Oh fucking hell!!!!

Cloud: No! Why would she do this to u?!

(Cloud and Leon realized they were not wearing their clothes. Instead they were dressed in drag.)

Leon: Yuki next time we meet I'll kill you!

Cloud: Leon! Cross your legs for god's sake! I don't want to see your dick!

Leon: Damn you, you little bitch!

Cloud: My eyes they burn!

End….no not really.

Dun dun dun.


	4. Episode 3 Land of the Chocobos

EPISODE 3:

LAND OF THE CHOCOBOS PART I

(American Idiot starts playing)

(Enter Cloud and Leon in normal clothes. They are wandering around in an unknown land.)

Leon: What do you mean unknown land?

Cloud: The name of the place is right here! (Points at title.)

Yuki: Just go with it.

Both: Fine.

(Back to wandering.)

Cloud: Leon where are we even though the name is the title of this episode.

Leon: I don't know Cloud even though I really do because I read the title.

(Find a small chocobo as tall as Cloud's knees. Has big blue chibi eyes.)

Cloud: Aww he's cute.

Leon: Uh, sure.

(The chocobo sees Cloud and Leon. The chocobo knocks Cloud and Leon unconscious. Leon wakes up in a wooden cage. He can't find Cloud.)

Leon: Cloud? Cloud?! Cloud!

(Chocobos walk up.)

Chocobo 1: Wark wark wark wark wark wark wark.

Leon: Excuse me?

Chocobo 2: Wark wark wark.

Leon:?

Chocobo 3: WARK WARK!

Leon: Sorry me no speak Chocobian.

(Chocobos drag in another cage. The author is in it.)

Leon: Yuki?

Yuki: Hey Leon. They got you to I see.

Leon: Yep, have you seen Cloud?

Yuki: Nope.

Leon: Wait a second how is this story going on if your not writing it?

Yuki: The chief of this little chocobo tribe destroyed my computer and I have no way to finish it. In order to we need to escape, find Cloud, and get me to a computer of some sort. Preferably one with Word on it.

Leon: Sounds simple enough but first, we need to locate Cloud.

(They hear some chocobo's talking to each other.)

Chocobo 1: Wark wark wark?

Chocobo 2: Wark wark.

Chocobo 3: Wark wark wark wark wark.

Leon: If only I knew what they were saying.

Yuki: I do.

Leon: O.k. then what did they say?

Yuki: The first one asked when some ceremony is being held. The second said at noon. The third said that after so many years of waiting their virgin goddess has finally returned to them.

Chocobo 2: wark wark wark.

Yuki: He said it's time.

Chocobo 1: Wark wark wark wark wark wark wark.

Yuki: He said to bring the prisoners to use as sacrifice to the goddess.

(The chocobos start dragging Leon and the author, after getting them both in the same cage. They see a lot of chocobos bowing in the direction of a large throne. A figure in a gold Greek goddess dress wearing a gold butterfly mask is sitting in it. The chocobos bring the author and Leon to thrown and stop right in front of it.)

Yuki: (Clings to Leon.) Leon I'm scared.

(The chocobos go and take off the figures mask to reveal…)

Leon: Cloud?

Cloud: Hey.

Yuki: Cloud you're the virgin goddess.

(Yuki and Leon laughing hysterically.)

Cloud: You can stop now.

(Still laughing.)

Cloud: Really that's quite enough.

(Laughing.)

Cloud: Shut up! I don't know what you're talking about! I don't even know what's going on! I just woke up a minute ago! Not to mention when I did wake up I found myself strapped to this chair!

Leon: You don't know what's going on? These chocobos are going to give us as a sacrifice to you because they think your some great (snicker) virgin (snicker) goddess (cracking up).

Yuki: Both of you shut up. I'm trying to hear what the chocobo chief is saying.

Cloud: Uh, which chocobo? There's more than one.

Yuki: The only black one here.

Chief: Wark wark wark wark wark wark wark wark wark wark wark wark wark wark!

Chocobos: Wark! Wark! Wark!

Leon: What did he say?

Yuki: I'm not saying.

Cloud: Just tell us already.

Yuki: No you'll both get angry.

Leon: you're making us angry by not telling us, so spill!

Yuki: Fine. He said that the ceremony has begun. First they will prepare us for what they are planning.

Leon: Which is?

Yuki: Well the virgin goddess kind of is the goddess of pregnancy for the chocobos here.

Leon: And?

Yuki: They will offer you to Cloud in an attempt to get Cloud pregnant. While I will be waiting hand and foot on Cloud and the supposed baby he will carry. O.k. so where is that chocobo with the keys?

Both: WHAT?!

Cloud: No! Nuhuh, not gonna happen.

Leon: Same here! Even if I wanted to, amazing as this will sound, Cloud can't get pregnant! He's a man!

Yuki: I understand that! But once they figure that out they will kill us. If we don't go along with it they'll kill us! If we go along with it, we have more time to figure out our escape!

Leon: Fine we'll go along with it.

Cloud: But we won't like it!

Yuki: Good. Hey buddy!

(A chocobo stops in front of cage. Points to itself.)

Yuki: Yeah, you. Uh, wark wark wark wark wark wark wark.

(Chocobo looks surprised.)

Chocobo: Wark wark?

Yuki: Wark.

(Chocobo runs to tell chief.)

Leon: What did you say to it?

Yuki: I told it that you would be more than happy to help get the virgin goddess pregnant. All though I wonder why would they call her a virgin goddess if they try to get her pregnant?

Cloud: I don't care right now just think of something to get us out of here!

Leon: O.k. everyone shut up! Let me think………..

Yuki: He has the I'm coming up with a great idea look.

Leon: I've got it.

Will Leon's idea help the trio escape? Will Yuki get to a computer in time to stop the madness that for once she didn't cause? Will Cloud get pregnant? Find out next time on 'The Hilarious and Random Adventures Of Cloud And Leon!


	5. Land of the Chocobos Part 2

EPISODE 5: THE LAND OF THE CHOCOBOS

PART II

Yuki: O.k. we're back! Here's a recap!

Cloud: I was made the virgin goddess of pregnancy. The chocobos have captured the author and Leon.

Leon: The chocobos want me to get Cloud pregnant; because they think he's a girl. Yuki needs to get to a computer so she can end the madness that she didn't cause for once.

Yuki: Leon also came up with a plan at the end of the first episode. Let's see if we escape with our lives and Cloud's virginity intact!

Cloud: Hey!

Disclaimer: It' called a fanfiction so that would mean…..correct the people and actual game don't belong to me.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

(American Idiot playing)

Leon: I've got it.

Yuki: What is it?

Cloud: Better be a good one.

Leon: O.k. when the chocobos leave m and Cloud in a room together so we could you know. Me and Cloud sneak out the back come get you and get to that giant deserted office building over there. Most likely there's a computer in there that works.

Yuki: I like that plan.

Cloud: Same here.

(Chocobo walks over and opens cage forcing Leon to follow. Another chocobo goes and leads Cloud in the same direction.)

Yuki: Don't get side tracked!

Cloud: We're ditching her aren't we?

Leon: Yep.

(Chocobos lock Cloud and Leon in a very well furnished room. There are glasses of wine on the table.)

Cloud: God I'm thirsty! (starts drinking)

Leon: Just a little to quench our thirst then we go. (drinks)

(What Cloud and Leon don't know is that the chocobos have learned to make ecstasy and put it in the wine.)

Cloud: Leon did it suddenly get hot in here?

Leon: Yeah, let's go before they come back.

Cloud: Wow Leon your hot!

Leon: No….your hot.

Cloud: Want to do it?

Leon: What the hell.

(They start going at it. They go all the way! They wake up an hour later.)

Leon: Cloud? God my head. What happened?

Cloud: I don't know. I do know however that we are naked in bed together and my butt and spine are sore.

Leon: You don't think we?

Cloud: No we couldn't have.

Leon: Sam here. Let's get dressed and go.

(They got dressed and headed toward the building. When they went in they saw that inside looked new still.)

Cloud: There might be a phone that works in one of the offices.

Leon: Yeah. Let's go to the top floor so it will take the chocobos longer to get to us.

Cloud: K.

(They climb all thirty stories and finally got to what they guessed used to be the head honcho's office.)

Leon: this is it let's go.

(They went in. What they saw nearly killed them. There was the author in the head honcho's chair playing poker with some chocobos and the chocobo chief.)

Yuki: What do you mean I'm cheating?

Chief: Wark wark wark wark.

Yuki: I honestly have no idea what your talking about.

Both: WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE?!

Yuki: Oh, hey boys. Just enjoying a friendly game of poker with my little buddies here. (grin)

Cloud: But how did…..when did…what?

Leon: What are you doing playing poker with the chocobos that captured us?!

Yuki: Oh, that.

Leon: Yes that you dumb ass.

Yuki: Well boys, meet my friend Vincent, I named after the Vincent you know, He is the chocobo chief.

Vincent: Wark. (Waves at Cloud and Leon)

Yuki: Anyway, I was extremely bored after the third episode so me and my little buddy came up with an idea. We would capture you and Cloud and knock the both of you out. I would be imprisoned with you to make it look like I was innocent. When they sent you and Cloud away I got out and came here.

Leon: Wait then how did the story go on?

Yuki: Wireless internet on my cell. (Holds up the little device.)

Cloud: Wait what happened when we experienced that tome laps.

Yuki: (maniacal grin) We'll little chocobo let's turn to the screen.

(A screen came down showing Cloud and Leon experiencing sexual intercourse. Cloud playing the role of uke.)

Yuki: There's your answer. That is extremely hot and shmexy by the way. I'll add it to my yaoi movie collection.

Cloud: But how-

Yuki: My little chocobo buddies have successfully made ecstasy. They put it in your wine. They did it because they know I love yaoi and gave it to me as a very early birthday present.

Leon: You little bitch! I'm going to kill you!

(Makes a lunge for Yuki. Bryan and Corey suddenly appear and tackle Leon.)

Leon: Damn it!

Cloud: What you're telling me is that I lost my virginity to him! (Points at Leon. Cloud is angry.)

Yuki: For once the Leon and Cloud sex isn't me. All though when you two star in another one of my stories you rather enjoy it.

Leon: No duh! You make us like it!

Yuki: No I don't. I make you realize your feelings for each other.

Cloud: Same difference. But still Leon? Why do I have to lose it to Leon?

Yuki: Because I'm the author and I say so.

Cloud: I need a shower.

Leon: Same here.

Yuki: Yes! Yaoi in the shower! Grab the camera!

Cloud: We are not bathing together!

Leon: even if we were we wouldn't let you watch.

Yuki: Now hat's just rude Leon. After my chocobos helped you finally make Cloud yours.

Leon: When have I ever wanted him?

Cloud: You don't like me Leon? (watery eyed)

Yuki: Leon you big mouth you made Cloud cry again!

(Leon looks heavenward.)

Leon: Why? Why do all of you gods hate me?! Do you dislike me this much.

Yuki: Leon it's not a god that hates you. It's Karma! In which I'm a Capricorn, whose ruling planet is Saturn, in which Saturn is sometimes referred to as Karma.

Leon: So you're basically a descendent of Karma.

Yuki: Yep.

Leon: Damn you Saturn! And another thing why can cloud say he doesn't like me but I can't say I don't like him?

Yuki: Because Cloud is more sensitive. You should know this by now Squall.

Leon: It's LEON!

Yuki: If you say so. Bryan Corey you can go now.

(Corey and Bryan salute to Yuki and disappear in a puff of smoke.)

Leon: You should have made them stay.

Yuki: Why?

Cloud: Because we get to kill you now.

Yuki: Not today! (Disappears in puff of smoke.)

Both: Damn you!

(Anime/Manga nerd land)

Yuki: Now that I'm done toying with them in this episode I have a couple new ideas. Heh heh Cloud Leon prepare to be freaked out.

End……..Just kidding!

Dun dun dun!


	6. Tequila Night in Mexico

Ch. 6

Tequila Nights

(American Idiot)

(Cloud and Leon now find that their adventure this time has led them to Mexico. It is now Cinco de Mayo day. Cloud and Leon go into a bar.)

Leon: I have a bad feeling about what that stupid author has planned for us this time.

Cloud: Hey isn't that Nikki and Denise from the mafia the author runs.

Denise: Mafia, what mafia? There's no mafia!

Nikki: -sigh—wolf ear twitches-

Cloud: Wait a second how did you get wolf ears?! And a tail?!

Nikki: Between the last episode and this episode I got bitten by a werewolf.

Leon: O…k…. so what are you two doing here?

Denise: Vacation!

Nikki: Working.

Cloud: Working? On what?

Nikki: Running the bar. Yuki wants to see if one of her bars will last in Mexico.

Leon: Oh, well in that case I'll have a beer.

Cloud: Shirley Temple.

Leon: Could you be anymore girlie?

Cloud: But I like them.

Nikki: Sorry don't serve those.

Both: -blink- What?

Nikki: We only serve drinks that can be made from tequila.

Both: Oh.

Leon: Well then just get us both some shots of tequila.

Cloud: He'll have straight tequila. I'd like a hybrid rum and tequila.

Nikki: Coming right up. ZACH! TWO SHOTS OF STRAIGHT TEQUILA AND ONE HYBRID RUM TEQUILA NOW! AND MAKE IT SNAPPY OR I'LL FEED YOUR GENITILES TO MY DOG FLUFFY!

Zach: Yes mam.

Denise: Tell me again why we're allowed to treat him like shit.

Nikki: Yuki's ex-boyfriend.

Denise: Oh…O.k.!

(Zach comes back with the drinks and leaves.)

Cloud: Uh…Nikki what is this?

(Cloud raised his glass full of some kind of white liquid.)

Nikki: ZACH! –anger vain pulsing-

Zach: Yes mam?

Nikki: I said hybrid rum with tequila not SEMEN! Where did you get that stuff anyway?!

Zach: -oh shit look-

Nikki: You know what I don't want to know.

Cloud: You know what I'll just have some straight tequila.

Denise: O.K.!

Cloud: And some earplugs if possible.

Denise: Kadokie!

(Runs behind bar.)

Nikki: Denise I told you you're not allowed back there!

(Start a chase.)

Denise: But Nikki I want to help!

Nikki: No! For one I don't trust anyone behind the bar! Two because you might break something.

Denise: No I won't!

Nikki: This is coming from the girl who has no sense of balance!

Denise: Stop being mean or I'll tell Yuki!

Nikki: Do you really think I care right now! Plus she's not here she's not even in Mexico!

Denise: Well where is she?

(Denise runs to hide behind Cloud.)

Nikki: She's in Spain looking around to see about finding new alcoholic beverages to try.

Denise: Oh. Uh, oh. Well I'll get Katlyn.

Nikki: Japan.

Denise: Bryan and Corey.

Nikki: In Russia testing a new type of vodka.

Denise: So there is no one here to protect me?!

Nikki: That's right –evil grin-

Leon: Wait Yuki is in Spain alone with out her body guards?

Nikki: For two weeks, yeah.

Leon: -dials a number on his cell phone- Hello? Yes I need a ticket for a nonstop flight to Spain from Mexico.

Cloud: Make it two tickets.

(Pink panther theme song ring tone for a cell phone goes off.))

Denise: Hello? Yuki-chan! How's Spain? Uh, huh. O.k. When do you expect to be back. YAY! Oh, Yuki can you please tell Nikki not to kill me? O.k. hold on one sec.

(Gives phone to Nikki.)

Nikki: Hello? Hey. Because she went behind the bar after I told her a hundred times not to. O.k. But why? Oh O.K. –evil grin- gottcha bye.

Cloud: What did she say?

Denise: First she said that Spain was good. Corey and Bryan finished up in Russia and she's finished to. Their on a plane coming from Japan. They were picking Katlyn up and will be here tomorrow.

Cloud: Leon the author has her body guards again and will be here tomorrow.

Leon: Damn it! Never mind just cancel my tickets. –hangs up his phone-

Nikki: She also convinced me not to kill you. –evil grin-

Denise: Then what is with the evil grin.

Nikki: Nothing, nothing what so ever.

Denise: Suuuuure.

Cloud: Can we get some more tequila please?

Leon: Just bring a bottle for both of us.

Nikki: K. ZACH! TWO BOTTLES OF TEQUILA! HOLD THE SEMEN!

Zach: Here you go.

(Two hours later and after many bottles of tequila and someone lighting up several marijuana sticks and some speed. It's is now night time.)

Denise: What do we drink on Cinco de Mayo day?!

Nikki, Zach, Cloud, and Leon (all shit face drunk and high): Tequila!

Denise: What do we drink on the Day of the Dead?!

Everyone: Tequila!

Denise: What do we drink while laying on a beach in Mexico?!

Everyone: Tequila!

Nise: What do we drink every single day of our lives any way?!

Everyone: Tequila!

Denise: That's right! Because we all know –hiccup- that tequila is awesome!

Nikki: You want to know what's awesome? Two drunken hot dudes making out!

(On the airplane.)

Yuki: Let's make a quick note that everyone is completely shit faced drunk and high.

Katlyn: Like they couldn't all ready tell.

Corey: You two keep talking about whatever it is you're talking about.

Bryan: We'll just sit here looking cool. Seeing as how Corey doesn't speak girl and I can only understand half of it because I'm bi.

Corey: Your bi!

Yuki and Katlyn: No duh!

(Back to bar.)

Cloud: Hey, Leon's a hot drunken dude.

Leon: Look whose talking mega spike.

Cloud: Mega spike?

Leon: Your hair.

Cloud: Oh. Wow my hair is spiky how that happen?!

Denise: Whoa that's awesome.

Nikki: Cool, Leon you've got a scar.

Leon: Where?

Nikki: On you face!

Leon: Ah! Get it off!

Cloud: O.k. hold still.

(Starts trying to wipe off the scar.)

Cloud: It won't come off!

Leon: Oh, well.

Cloud: Leon look on the bright side. You look hotter with it.

Leon: And your spiky hair makes you look hotter!

Denise: WOW!

Everyone: What?

Denise: Look at your hand while you're moving it. It looks so awesome.

(Everyone starts doing it.)

Nikki: That is awesome.

Denise: I just discovered something.

Nikki: What?

Denise: I have a favorite finger!

Cloud: Oh, which one is it?

Denise: My middle finger!

Leon: Same here. They are good for telling people to fuck off.

Nikki: Yeah.

Leon: Cloud how high and drunk are you?

Cloud: High and drunk enough to not remember a single thing that'll happen tonight.

Leon: O.k. let's go.

Cloud: Where to?

Leon: To go fuck.

Cloud: Oh,…………………..O.k.

(They go fuck behind the bar.)

Denise: That's hot.

Nikki: Yeah…did you set the camera up back there?

Denise: Yep. It was easier than I thought.

Nikki: What was?

Denise: Acting drunk.

Nikki: Yeah it really is. Oh, my god!

Denise: What?

Nikki: You've got a tattoo!

Denise: Cool! What does it say?

Nikki: Dude!

Denise: Cool you have one to!

Nikki: What does mine say?

Denise: Sweet. What does mine say?

Nikki: Dude. What does mine say?

Denise: Sweet, No tell me what mine said?!

Nikki: Dude! What does mine say?!

Leon: Nikki's tattoo says sweet Nise's says dude. Now shut up!

Cloud: Leon hurry up.

(Leon ducks back down behind bar.)

(Airplane)

Yuki: Yes I put 'Dude Where's My Car?' in here. And the middle finger thing. A friend of mine showed me a newspaper from California. There was a whole article about a guy who lost is favorite finger.

Katlyn: People put anything in the news now a days.

Yuki: Yeah. Where's Corey and Bryan.

Katlyn: They're having a trust talk.

Yuki: Oh, Corey's still upset that Bryan didn't tell him he was bi?

Katlyn: Yeah.

Yuki: …Oh, well. O.k. I'm sleepy wake me up when we land.

Katlyn: K. Corey! Bryan! We're going to sleep wake us when we land!

Both: K.

(Back to bar.)

(Morning)

Cloud: Ow, my head. I'm never drinking that much again.

Leon: Tell me about it.

(Cloud and Leon realize they are laying next to each other under a blanket completely naked.)

Both: Damn it! Not again!

Nikki: Shut up.

(Throws a bottle and hit's Leon in the head.)

Leon: Ow! Hey I've got a hangover over here!

Denise: You think you guys are the only ones?

Nikki: Everyone has a hangover!

(Door bursts open. In walks Yuki, Katlyn, Bryan and Corey.)

Yuki: Hello every-. Wow I expected at least two days before this place turned into a disaster area. You guys only did it one.

Denise: Yeah now no talkie head hurt.

Nikki: Baby.

Denise: you just said yours did to!

Nikki: But I don't whine about it.

(Yuki whips out phone.)

Yuki: Hello? Uh yes I need to reach Mr. Banks. Tell him it's Yuki and I need him to come to Mexico to help repair my bar. License to serve alcohol? Uh…..Of course I have one. Look I don't have time for this just give him the message!

(Hangs up. Realizes Cloud and Leon are giving her a look.)

Yuki: What?

Cloud: you serve alcohol with out a license?

Yuki: Uh yeah. So?

Leon: You could go to jail for a very long time.

Yuki: So?

Cloud: Leon would you like to do the honors?

Leon: Why certainly. Take back this entire chapter or I'll call the cops.

(Everyone looks at them in horror.)

Yuki: (smirk) Leon, cloud I'm sorry to say but that's impossible.

Both: Why?

Yuki: Because….

(Everyone starts to evilly laugh.)

Yuki: This chapter is all ready on the internet. Your to late. By now my loyal reviewers have read this.

Both: No!

Yuki: Oh, don't be that way. Well this episode is over. And Cloud.

Cloud: (completely scared shitless.) What?

Yuki: In a couple weeks I would take a pregnancy test if I were you. (evil laughter)

Katlyn: O.k. you need to stop that. You can't pull off evil laughter.

Yuki: (depressed) I know.

End…..Psh! Yeah right.


	7. Baby!

(American idiot)

(Cloud and Leon have found that there adventure this time has led them to a hospital.)

Cloud: WHAT?!

(A male Doctor that mysteriously looks like the author but with glass, a black mustache, and a big nose.)

Doctor: Just as I said you're pregnant.

Cloud: But how?

Doctor: Hmm…..are you familiar with authors that have their male characters get pregnant. It's called Mpreg syndrome. So who's the father?

Leon: Me.

Doctor: Good for you man. Come back in six months and I'll tell if the baby is boy or girl.

Leon: Whatever let's go Cloud.

Doctor: No sex for nine months you two.

(Leon and cloud run out of office.)

(Doctor pulls off the costume glasses, mustache, and nose. Revealing the author.)

Yuki: I actually feel sorry for Leon. He'll have to deal with mood swings and every thing else. Oh, well! More fun for me!

(Month 1)

Cloud: Ow!

Leon: What?

Cloud: My nipples hurt!

Leon: No duh. You're pregnant.

Cloud: Do you think I'm fat?

Leon: (disappears.)

(Month 3)

Cloud: Leon!

Leon: Yes? (Gets punched in the face) What the fuck?! What was that for?!

Cloud: You think I'm fat!

Leon: I never said that!

Cloud: You were thinking it!

Leon: No, I was thinking about….going to get…..you some ice cream!

Cloud: OH! O.k. (Happy) Vanilla please! (Suddenly becoming very sad.)

Leon: What now?

Cloud: What if they don't have it? (Starts tearing up.)

Leon: Then I'll keep looking till I find some.

Cloud: (Hugs Leon.) You're the best!

(Leon goes on world wide man hunt for vanilla ice cream.)

Leon: Here you go.

Cloud: Oh, that's o.k. I don't want it anymore just put it in the freezer.

(Leon passes out.)

(Month 6)

Doctor: Well hello there. Mr. Strife.

Cloud: Hello.

Doctor: Ready to see what it is?

Leon: Let's just get this over with.

Doctor: O.k. nurses come in!

(A bunch of male nurses come in that mysteriously look like the authors friends but with big noses, mustaches, and glasses.)

Doctor: O.k. hook Mr. Strife here up too the machines. Get Mr. Leonhart a drink he looks like he needs one.

Leon: you bet.

Doctor: (Starts smearing a gel over cloud stomach.)

Cloud: That's cold.

Doctor: Hmm…. (Using the x-ray for finding babies thing.) Ah, there it is.

(Picture of baby inside cloud on screen.)

Doctor: See the head, the beating heart. Would you like to know if it's male or female?

(Cloud and Leon nod.)

Doctor: It's a boy.

Cloud: It's a boy?

Doctor: It's a boy.

Leon: It's a boy. (Relieved sigh.)

Nurses: It's a boy!

Random Person: We get it already it's a boy!

Doctor: Conner, Bret. Take care of him please.

(Two male nurses disappear.)

Doctor: Now let's make your next appointment. In three months for the birth.

Leon: Um...Doctor where is the baby going to come out?

Cloud: That's what I would like to know.

Doctor: isn't it obvious?

(Shaking heads no.)

Doctor: (Pulls cloud and Leon towards him to hear.)

Leon: Oh, well that does make since.

Cloud: (Wide eyed.)

Doctor: Well see you in three months. (trip) Ow.

Leon: You're no doctor you're our insane author!

Cloud: What?!

Yuki: Hi boys.

Cloud: So that means….

(Everyone removes disguise.)

Cloud: Damn it.

(Two people walk in. One named Kitty the other Ed. Both are girls.)

Kitty: Yuki can I ask you something?

Yuki: Of course what is it?

Kitty: Where do babies come from and how can two men have a baby?

Yuki: Well uh you see for your first one. When a mommy and a daddy love each other very much…they uh…call the s-stork and…..

Ed: They fuck each other!

Yuki: ED! For the second one. When two daddies love each other very much and are introduced to alcohol and a very talented author….

Ed: They fuck!

Yuki: Some one shut her up!

(Nikki duct tapes Ed to a chair. She is covered in duct tape from head to toe.)

(Month 9)

Cloud: HOLY SHIT!

Yuki: He's having contractions! (Says excitedly) Let's get him to his room!

(Yuki, Nikki, Denise, and Katlyn wheel Cloud away.)

Leon: I'm worried about him.

Bryan: Why?

Corey: He's in the capable hands of the girls you shouldn't be.

Leon: It's because it's the girls I'm worried.

(Katlyn runs out.)

Katlyn: Leon comes with me. Cloud wants you in the room ASAP!

(They all rush to the room Cloud is in.)

Leon: Opens the door.

Yuki: O.k. Cloud push I can almost see the head.

Nikki: (Taping the birth)

Denise: (Running around with towels.)

Cloud: Leon come closer.

(Leon walks over to Cloud.)

Cloud: Leon when this is all over. I'm going to get a very rusty spork and do you know what I'm going to do with it?

Leon: (Shakes head.) No, But I have some kind of idea.

Cloud: I'm going to use it to castrate you! MOTHER -!

Yuki: I see the head! Push Cloud push!

(Cloud gripping metal railing so hard that it is squeezed into the shape of Cloud s grip.)

Denise: I hands!

Nikki: Wow I'm getting great footage.

Katlyn: Almost out.

Yuki: And there he is.!

(Holds up baby.)

Girls: Aww….He's so cute!

Bryan and Corey: AH! My eyes!

Katlyn: Let's get him cleaned off.

Yuki: Uh oh.

Leon: What?

There's another one coming.

Cloud: You said there was one. (Fire erupting in the back ground.)

Yuki; (Sweat drop.) Chill it's a joke! Don't eat me!

Nikki: So what should we name him?

Denise: Leon Jr.!

Bryan: That's lame.

Corey: He needs something masculine.

Leon: (glaring at Corey.)

Corey: When it comes to the Jr. part it doesn't sound masculine enough.

Katlyn: Let's let Cloud decide.

Nikki: It makes since after all he came out of Cloud.

Cloud: I haven't thought of anything.

Yuki: I got it!

(Ten years later.)

Cloud: Fenrir Griever Strife Leonhart! You come back here this instant!

Leon: (thinking) Why did we name our kid that again?

(Anime/Manga Nerd Land)

Yuki: Because I said so. Wow this wasn't really as random, messed up, and funny as I would of liked it. I'll just have to work harder next time!

(Back)

Leon: (Hearing this.) God please………KILL HER!


	8. Random Talking

(American Idiot)

(American Idiot)

Episode 8

Leon: (stare)

Yuki: What?

Leon: You're an idiot.

Yuki: T-T Cloud Leon's being mean to me!

Cloud: Sigh. Not again.

Kirby: Super Kirby!!

All three: What the fuck?! Oo'''''''''

Kirby: (hugs Yuki) I love you!

Yuki: Kirby….. (Hypnotized)

Cloud: Leon….

Leon: Do I have to? Look how not stupid she is right now.

Cloud: (gives a look) We can't end this reign of terror until she does. So do it!

Leon: (crosses arms) Hmph. Fine.

Leon is amazingly able to punch Yuki and her body guards didn't pop up.

Yuki: T-T Ow! I got a booboo!

Leon: There happy? She's not hypnotized.

Cloud: Did you have to punch her?

Yuki: HUG!

Hugs Cloud.

Cloud: Oh my fucking god! I can't breathe!

Yuki: I love Cloud!

Leon: (mumbling) He's mine.

Yuki: What was that Leon?

Leon: Nothing.

Yuki: Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm………………… O.K!

Yuki: Look what I have! (Brings out a picture)

Cloud: What is it?

Yuki: It's a guy with really spiky hair who's happy!

Leon: …..

Cloud: A man with that many spikes should not be that happy.

Yuki: So he's cute!

Leon Cloud: (anime fall).

Yuki: I just realized something.

Leon: What now?

Yuki: Cloud has spiky hair but he's happy.

Cloud: In the original games, movies, and story line I'm depressed. You people just won't stop making me happy and lovable! Screw all of you OOC authors!

Yuki: Hey! I'm an OOC author!

Cloud: Exactly.

Leon: I'm supposed to be stoic and a loner but you people make me into a sly pervert! What the hell?!

Yuki: Because people like a perverted Squall. It's highly entertaining to watch a perverted Squall hitting on a cute and cuddly Cloud!

Leon: My name is LEON!

Cloud: I' am not cute and cuddly!

Yuki: Yes you are!

Cloud: No I'm not!

Yuki: Yes.

Cloud: No.

Yuki: Yep.

Cloud: No.

Yuki: Yep.

Cloud: No times infinity!

Yuki: Yep times infinity plus one to everything you say!

Cloud: Damn you!

Yuki: (grin) I win! V for victory! (holds up victory sign)

Leon: And people wonder why I hate my life.

Yuki: This is not a time for self hate Emo Squall!

Leon: It's Leon!

Yuki: But your real name is Squall! So I'm calling you Squall!

Leon: You use Leon in everything else! Your just doing this to annoy me!

Yuki: (grin) Maybe!

Leon: I hate you.

Yuki: Awww, Leon I love you to! (hug)

Leon: Ha! You used Leon!

Yuki: Yeah annoying you by calling you Squall was getting old and boring.

Cloud: Why me?

Leon: Wait a second what happened to the kid?

Yuki: What kid?

Leon: The one Cloud gave birth to.

Cloud: Don't remind me.

Yuki: He's not with us anymore.

Leon: Did he die?

Yuki: No

Cloud: Then where is he?

Yuki: (grin) He's at Yaoi con!

Both: What?!

Leon: You sent my son to a yaoi convention?!

Yuki: Uh, yeah!

Leon: NOOOO!

Cloud: He was hoping that he could raise the boy to be supposedly "sane" like "him"

Yuki: To late! He's on his way to being like me!

Leon: Yeah weird and insane.

Yuki: When you call me that technically your saying that I'm in sanity because the word is in-sane.

Leon: Fine then your weird and fucking crazy!

Yuki: Now that is a correct statement!

Cloud: Please tell me your not like this in the real world.

Yuki: Half and half.

Cloud: Damn.

Leon: Wow.

Cloud: What?

Leon: We didn't do anything productive or entertaining what so ever this episode.

Yuki: That's because this being considered a craziness break chapter.

Cloud: So it would for us be considered a coffee break.

Yuki: Exactly!

Leon: good because I'm tired of dealing with her. I'll be in my trailer.

Cloud: I'll walk with you, mine's right next to your's.

(They Leave)

Yuki: Sigh. I'm all alone now. And now I'm bored. What do they expect me to do while their at break? Twiddle my thumbs?!

(five minutes later)

Yuki: (twiddleing thumbs) Damn it Why can't I stop!

(notices camera)

Yuki: Oh, uh… well you see….. Screw you camera man!

End…….. Has it ever really been the end?

Dun. Dun. Dun.


	9. Explained and the Mission

(American idiot)

(American idiot)

Episode 9:

Explained!

Yuki: Leon

Leon: What?

Yuki: Why do you dislike me so much? Besides the fact that I put you in fanfictions?

Leon: (thinking)

-Flash back-

Yuki: Hi!!

Leon: What the hell?

Cloud: Who are you?

Yuki: I'm Yuki! Oh my god your Cloud strife and Squall Leonheart I absolutely love the two of you! Especially you cloud your just so cute and cuddly! (hugs cloud tightly)

Cloud: Can't breathe.

Yuki: (hugs squall) You're both just so hot!

Leon: (loses air quickly and passes out)

-End flash back-

Yuki: You hate me because I hugged you?

Leon: No I hate you because you made me pass out like some woman. That and another reason which I'm not going to announce.

Yuki: ….? ……!! Leon loves cloud! Leon Loves Cloud! Leon loves Cloud!

Leon: Shut up?! (starts trying to kill Yuki)

Cloud: Leon what are you doing to her?

Leon: Killing her, what else?

Yuki: Save me Cloud!

Cloud: Sigh. Leon.

Leon: What?

Cloud: (kisses Leon)

Leon: (let's go of Yuki's neck) ………..! (drags Cloud away)

Cloud: Leon… What are you doing?

Yuki: Yes! HMS! HMS! HMS!

Cloud: What?! (blushes)

Leon: (Throws Cloud over shoulder)

Yuki: I've got video tape!!

Leon: (glare)

Yuki: Or not.

Leon: (glare)

Yuki: I'll just stay here.

Leon: Good idea.

Cloud: Leon be nice.

Both: (leave)

Yuki: …………

Yuki: T-T I WANTED TO SEE SOME HMS!!

Nikki: HMS?

Yuki: Nikki! (hug)

Nikki: Once again, HMS?

Yuki: Hot Man Sex!

Nikki: Should have known. Bye.

Yuki: What?! Don't leave me! I'm bored!

Nikki: Don't care. (leaves)

Yuki: But who's going to entertain me?! Who's going to make sure I don't do something bad?!

(Notices a big red button)

Yuki: Hmm…. I really shouldn't do to the fact that I don't know what it does. Oh, well you learn by doing!

(pushes the button)

(Curtain rises and starts to play Yuki's favorite youtube videos)

Yuki: Wow. I like this button!

End…… Gotcha!

Dun dun dun.

Yuki: Hello I'm Yuki President and Founder of AngelDragonQueen343 Corporation. We here at AngelDragonQueen343 Corporation wish to extend an apology to all loyal readers. We have not updated any other stories but seem to be updating this one more. Our wish is to finish one of them so that we will be able to place our full focus on the other ones. We extend our apologies to all loyal fans who like reading new updates of all our stories at the exact same time. Now here I will leave to chat with Cloud and Leon.

Leon: Hello everyone.

Cloud: We at AngelDragonQueen343 Corp. Take to heart the needs of our viewers. Like this reviewer here. Her name is Denise.

Leon: She is suffering from 'Of Love and Chocobos' withdraw.

Cloud: This is Benjamin he to suffers from withdraw but "Angel of Hellsing" withdraw.

Leon: President Yuki informed you already about the current one story at a time process she's going through. We have come to discover that when she's happy she tends to crate more.

Cloud: And what makes her happy is reviews. So when you get the chance remember all of the loyal reviewers just like you who are suffering from withdraw.

Leon: You can help by reviewing stories as much as possible. Because AngelDragonqueen343 Corp. Is a multi million dollar corporation but it needs help.

Cloud: You can help in the search for the cure of fanfiction withdraw by reviewing stories.

Yuki: Everyday hundreds of people suffer from fanfiction withdraw. We work to lower the cases of withdraw. But we need help, so whenever you finish reading a story or just have nothing better to do remember there are suffering fans out there that need help. If you wish to donate to the cause just press the little button or send me the President a PM. Because only you have the power to make a difference.


	10. The songs

(American Idiot playing)

(American Idiot playing)

Episode 10:

The Songs

Yuki: Hello everyone! This is the tenth episode! Woot!

Leon: --'

Cloud: Um, yay?

Yuki: So in honor of this momentous occasion, I will perform the 'Cloud song'!

Cloud: What?!

Yuki: My name is Cloud! (dressed like Cloud and points at her self.)

Yuki: I have a sword! (Holds up Cloud's stolen sword)

Cloud: Hey that's mine!

Yuki: I fight cactors! (slices a cactor plushy)

Yuki: Because I'm bored! (sitting on a rock bored)

Yuki: I like to ride on chocobos! (holds up chocobo plushy)

Yuki: Because it's better than having afros! (Has afro on her head. Yuki: NOOO!)

Yuki: When I go into an Inn… (walks through a door)

Yuki: Fifteen seconds! It's day again. (Yuki: Yay!)

Yuki: And I will use a phoenix down. (Cooking a phoenix in a pot)

Yuki: So when I die. (Dead Yuki)

Yuki: I will not frown! (Happy Zombie)

Cloud: Damn OOC writers.

Leon: -snicker-

Cloud: (glare)

Leon: (backs away)

Yuki: Because I' am Cloud. (Points at self)

Yuki: My hair defies all gravity! (Yuki: Yay for cement!)

Yuki: And I can't have too many potions- (holds up a bunch of potions)

Yuki: - or I might get cavities! (Dentist: Oh my mother fucking God!)

Yuki: If I can't slice you! (starts trying to slice cheese with buster)

Yuki: then that's o.k.! ( Holds thumb up in an o.k. kind of way)

Yuki: I'll use my magic! (Fire balls!)

Yuki: Anyway! (Fire melts cheese. Yuki: My cheese!)

Yuki: I will defeat that Sephiroth! (starts trying to tear up a Sephiroth plushy)

Yuki: Because he's not David Lee Roth! (David Lee Roth: Got that right! Yuki: David!)

Cloud: What the hell?!

Leon: HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!

Yuki: The Cloud song! Now do you want to hear the Leon song?

Leon: No!

Cloud: Sure go a head. I would love to hear it. (smirk)

Yuki: O.k. just remember. I couldn't find any actual Leon song so I had to make one myself.

Leon: God no! Don't- (Cloud covers Leon's mouth to keep him from speaking)

Cloud: that is perfectly fine.

Yuki: My name is Leon! (points at self dressed as Leon)

Yuki: I love griever! (hugs a copy of Leon's necklace)

Yuki: I have a gunblade! (Holds up Leon's sword)

Yuki: So that I can fight Heartless! (starts hitting a heartless on the head)

Yuki: I like to read very much! (reading a book)

Yuki: Because it's better than dealing with girls! (Arieth: Leon! Yuffie: Squall! Rinoa: Leon!)

Yuki: when I'm with Cloud! (hugs cloud)

Yuki: I have dirty thoughts! (a black light bulb turns on.)

Yuki: And I will use my gunblade (holds up gunblade again)

Yuki: So when I fight, I save the day! (dressed as Leon in super hero form)

Yuki: Because I' am Leon! (points at self dressed as Leon)

Yuki: I have a really cool scar! (draws scar on head using magic marker)

Yuki: And I can't go one hour, without making out with Cloud! (Starts doing the making out with self pose)

Yuki: If I can't kill you! (stabs a Seifer teddy bear that belongs to one of Yuki's room mates.)

Yuki: then that's o.k. (holds up thumb)

Yuki: I'll glare at you. (starts glaring at Seifer teddy bear)

Yuki: Until you fry! (Seifer teddy bear goes up in flames!)

Yuki: And I swear to kick your ass (kicks some random person's ass)

Yuki: If you get between, me and my cloud! (Sees Sephiroth. Yuki: die!)

Yuki: End!

Cloud: HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!! (laughs in Leon's face)

Yuki: You like?

Leon: Do I like?

Yuki: Yeah. I know that it may be a little rusty but I'm working on it!

Leon: Well let's put it this way. (takes his gunblade that he stole back from Yuki and tries to cut her head off.)

Yuki: AAAH! (Hides behind cloud)

Yuki: Cloud Leon's mad!

Cloud: Uh, yeah. No duh.

Leon: Die!

Both: AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH! (both run away)

Leon: You little bitch get back here!

Yuki: what are we going to do?!

Cloud: We?! You're attached to me and Leon is blind with fury right now!

Yuki: So?

Cloud (Grabs Yuki and throws her off) I'm free!

Yuki: Traitor!

Leon: Die!

Yuki: (POOF!)

Leon: What the hell?!

Yuki: the poof technique always comes in handy! (Yuki's voice heard over an intercom)

Leon: Damn you!

Cloud: (thinking) Angry sex is supposed to be the best. Hmm….

End…………………………………. Not!

Dun dun dun.

Yuki: Hello everyone! President Yuki: of AngelDragonqueen343 corporation here again. Today I wish to give you good news about the mission so far. We have received two reviews for this story. That means two less cases of withdraw from the world.

Cloud: Thanks to those two reviews we were able to get rid of two cases of withdraw we were able to move Denise and Benjamin into the hospital for those suffering withdraw.

Leon: but that's not enough! There are still hundreds of fans out there suffering and only you can make a difference.

(both Cloud and Leon playing with Fanfiction readers suffering from withdraw.)

Yuki: Remember you can help by reviewing or by PMing the author. Please join the cause for a better future for fiction readers everywhere, before you end up in a withdraw hospital. Thank you.


	11. Why?

(American idiot)

Episode 11:

Why?

Yuki: Boredom.

Leon: Idiot.

Cloud: Stop.

Yuki: Boredom.

Leon: Idiot.

Cloud: Stop.

Yuki: Boredom.

Leon: Idiot.

Cloud: Stop.

Yuki: CHICKEN BUTT!!

Leon: Dumb ass.

Cloud: Stop.

Yuki: But I'm bored!

Leon: You're always bored.

Yuki: Nuhuh.

Leon: Yep.

Yuki: Cloud?

Cloud: I'm not in this.

Yuki: But I'm bored!

Leon: Shut Up!

Yuki: …. You two!

Leon and Cloud: What?!

Yuki: Entertain me!

Both: Why?

Yuki: Because I said so.

Leon: Why?

Yuki: Because I rule all!

Cloud: Why?

Yuki: Because it's my computer.

Leon: Why?

Yuki: Because my grandma gave it to me as a gift.

Cloud: Why?

Yuki: Because she's cool like that.

Leon: Why?

Yuki: Because I say so!

Cloud: Why?

Yuki: Grrr. I'm leaving. (walks out)

Both: Finally!

Yuki: Boredom is better than nothing. God what do those two do all day besides being boring? But I still love 'em!

Cloud: Wait didn't you leave?

Yuki: Yes.

Leon: Then what are you doing here?

Yuki: Don't you want me here Leon?

Leon: No.

Yuki: Why?

Leon: Because I say so.

Yuki: Why?

Leon: Because you're an idiot.

Yuki: Why?

Leon: Because your mother never loved you.

Yuki: Why?

Leon: Because you're you!

Cloud: (sigh) I'm leaving. (walks out)

Yuki: (blink)

Leon: …

Leon: Wait don't leave me here with her!

Yuki: Cloud come back!

**(ELSE WHERE) **

Waitress: Hola, Señior Cloud.

Cloud: Hola. (laying stretched out on a beach chair.)

Waitress: Here's your margarita.

Cloud: Gracias. (takes his drink)

Waitress: And you have a message.

Cloud: From whom? (looks at her over the top of his really cool looking sunglasses)

Waitress: A Señior Leon and a Señiorita Yuki

Cloud: Could you call them back and tell them I won't be back for awhile? Tell them I'm on vacation.

Waitress: Si, Señior.

Random Lady: Señior Cloud it's time for your massage.

Cloud: (sigh) Life is great on the seashores of old Mexico. (grin)

**(BACK IN THE STATES)**

Both: Cloud come back!!

**(ELSE WHERE) **

Cloud: Now why would I do that? (wink)

All Of The Cast: ARIBA! (throws sombreros in the air)

End…….. No, I just kidding vato.

Dun dun dun.


End file.
